Wondricus

The Kangadrool and the Crocrosmile

Coral and Emorix started walking carefully along the path that Standor had shown them.................

The longer they walked the more relaxed and happy they became. They were very relaxed and very happy until they heard a loud thump and another loud thump coming their way from further down the path. They cringed and decided to hide behind the roots of a truelip. The thumps were coming closer. The thumps were louder. The thumps were faster. Thump! Thump thump!

The children were not sure if it was the thumps that were making the earth shake or whether it was they who were shaking from the worst fear they ever had.

They remembered being scared when their father told them the story of the "ghost who would return" or the story of the "ghost who would return again", or worse than worse, scarier than scary, the story of the "ghost who would not return again because it was too scary to return".

They remembered being scared when they had heard the sound of the wolves when their parents took them camping at the lake during their holidays last year.

They remembered being scared when they heard their father scream in pain in the middle of the night last month. That fear had stopped only when they found out he was not under attack by a burglar. He had bumped his big toe on the table leg as he was going to get a glass of water in the dark.

They remembered all these scary things. But they could not remember being as scared as they were now. The thumps and the other thumps were getting closer and closer to where they were. They were scared. They were terrified.

They clung as low to the ground as they could. Of course the closer they were to the ground, the louder the thumps became and the more they could feel the ground shaking.

Thump! Thump! Not more than 150 paces away.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Not more than 100 paces away.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Not more than 50 paces away.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Closer and closer, each thump was getting closer. Then, very near, just on the other side of the truelip roots. Thump! And then - worse! – worse than worse -  No more thump!

The children were hiding, but deep down inside their heart they knew that the thumps had stopped because they had been seen. What was going to happen to them?

Then they heard it, the big deep voice.

"Who are you? Why are you in my way? Who are you hiding from?

Then the big deep voice asked: "Should I be hiding with you?" Is it dangerous?"

Emorix slowly looked up. He was the first to see it.

Then Coral saw it.

They both saw it.

They also saw that it was seeing them.

There it was. The nicest smile they had ever seen on a Kangaroo.

"Hi, I am a kangadrool. Are you kangadrools too?"

"Do you know how to speak?" He asked with his very deep and slurpitty, spluttery voice.

The kangadrool was so proud that he had learned to speak that he asked everyone he met whether they could speak as well.

"No, we are not kangaroos and yes, of course we know how to speak!" said Emorix. "But this is the first time we speak to a kangaroo."

"A kangaroo? What is a kangaroo? Are they dangerous? Should I hide?"

The children were about to say: "You are a kangaroo." Then, they remembered how things in the Florest of Ronkledongding had strange names.

They said: "Never mind, you don't have to hide." We are Coral and Emorix. "Could you please tell us who you are again?"

"I am a kangadrool. It is very nice to meet you." The kangadrool had learned to be polite from his mother.

"Tell me, should I also be afraid? Is there a scary thing about to happen?"

The children laughed and told him that they had been afraid of his thumps and were hiding from him. The kangarool started shaking from laughter.

It is dangerous when the belly of a kangadrool shakes when his pouch is full of water.

The kangadrool found the thought that the children were hiding from him to be a very funny joke. He started to laugh. He laughed louder. Then he laughed louder than louder.

He was laughing so much that his belly that was full of water wiggled, gurgled and giggled.

For every ha ha there would be a gurgle and another gurgle and another gurgle. For every hee hee there would be a splash and another splash. Then the kangadrool did what a kangadrool with a pouch full of water should never do.

He laughed so much that he slapped his belly!

Water! Water! There was water everywhere and too many drops to drink.

This is what happened. The water from the pouch had splashed when the kangadrool slapped his belly. The children, the kangadrool and the truelip roots were soaked. They were soaked to the roots.

They took a deep breath. They shook the water from their hair. They shook the water from their eyes. They shook the water from the tip of their nose. Everyone shook the water from the tip of his nose except the truelips. Truelips do not have tips on their noses – they don’t even have noses.

The children and the kangadrool looked at each other again. They started to laugh again. It was a great belly laugh. Here I have to be precise. The “great belly laugh” was not an “ordinary laugh” from a “great belly”. It was a “great laugh” from a “normal belly”. It was a great belly laugh. One that you could have been heard from very far away had it not been drowned by an even bigger and deeper throat laugh from directly behind the children and almost beside the kangadrool.

Who could have a bigger and deeper throat laugh than the sound made from the laughter that two children plus one kangadrool laughing as hard as they could?

No one except...

Yes - that.

The children were staring at one thousand and many other teeth. Past the teeth they were staring at a red and pointed tongue. Past the tongue there was cavernous throat. They could see past a huge set of tonsils. They could see all the way into a huge belly. The belly was empty. They could see so far inside the tummy that - had that huge mouth swallowed Pinnochio - the children could have seen Pinnochio. And, if Pinnochio had been reading a book, and if the children had a flashlight, they could have read the book with him. Now they could see straight down all the way to the inside of the tip of a long tail. Never, had the children seen such a large mouth! They were also very happy to notice that there were no children inside that stomach. But there certainly was room for some. At least two!

The laughter was deep but it was not a mean, wicked Witch of the Center, (she is meaner that the Wicked Witch of the North) type of laugh. It was a happy and throaty laugh. It was the laugh of a crocrosmile.

His laugh made the children laugh harder. The children's harder laugh made the kangadrool laugh even harder. The kangadrool's even louder laugh made the crocrosmile laugh much harder than all of them laughing together!

When he was laughing, the crocosmile was banging his tail on the ground. When he was laughing, the kangadrool was hopping up and down. I was like a dance. Slam would go the tail. Hop would go the feet. Slam! Hop! Slam! Hop! Then thump…

Yes, you guessed it! The hopping feet had landed on the slammed tail. The tail owner stopped laughing. He did not like his tail to be hopped on. The feet owner stopped laughing. He did not like hopping on tails. He did not like hurting someone who had such a fun laugh as a crocrosmile! Also, he did not think that it was a good idea to hop on the tail of someone who had such a big mouth and so many teeth - just in case!

The children stopped laughing because the others had stopped laughing. They felt sad for the crocrosmile whose tail might hurt. They felt sad for the kangadrool who visibly felt sad because he may have hurt his friend.

"Are you hurt?" said the kangadrool to the crocrosmile?

"Not very much" said the crocrosmile who had recovered his smile. Our tails are so long that it takes a long time for the pain to reach our brains. By the time the pain gets to our brains, we forget what the pain was about. Many times it is what hurt you, it is who hurt you and it is how you were hurt that hurts the most- it is not the pain itself. The pain is often only a small part of the hurt. Not remembering what hurt you often reduces the hurt.

At least this is the way crocrosmiles think. That is what we learn in crocrosmile School. Not being able to remember the cause of the hurt is probably why we always look so happy.”

It was actually a good thing that the kangadrool's stomp landed on the crocrosmile’s tail slap. No one could have laughed as hard as they had been laughing much longer.

"Hello, I am Coral and this is my brother Emorix".

"Pleased to meet you" smiled the crocrosmile who had learned to be polite from his mother. Crocrosmiles, do not say their words, they smile them. I think this is a good idea. I think that people should also smile the words that they want to say. Not a "big bad wolf" "better to see you with my dear" kind of smile. Not a "wait until I get my hands on you" kind of mean smile. No, it was just a big happy and friendly kind of smile, like the smile of the crocrosmile. If people smiled like that when they speak, there would be fewer people who are sad because of what they hear. There might even be fewer people who are sad because of what they say.

Like the crocrosmile whose tail was so long that he could not remember what caused the pain by the time the pain reached his brain. Maybe we have spent so much time with the laughing story that you forgot that Coral and Emorix had just left Standor and were on their way to meet his wife at their house by way of the Rainbow Falls.

The conversation with the crocrosmile continued.

"I have never seen you here before." Smiled the crocrosmile. “Was I looking the wrong way?”

"No." Said Emorix. “We just slid down the rainbow a few minutes ago.”

“Gee, I hope you went down the blue stripe, it is my favorite, it is so fast" said the kangadrool.

"Good thing you came this way. If you had gone to the other end of the rainbow, you would have a pot of gold instead of the barrel of laugh we just had".

"Gold is nice." Said Coral.

"Yes, I guess so, but it does not make you laugh as much as we did a minute ago."

"Some people think gold makes you happy." Said Emorix who never had gold before. He did not know for sure.

"You are right. I think it may even be true. Can it make you as happy as when you eat a sweet honey sandwich made by the monkbees? Can it make you as happy as when you see the Rainbow Falls, or smell the lolly of the volley? Can it make you as happy as Standor is happy when he sees a sick child smile? I am not sure that it can." said the kangadrool.

"Gold may be nice - but the florest is pretty. It is nice and it is here. I like being here because my friends are here." Said the crocrosmile.

Coral said, "I think you are right. It is a bit like us. We would give up the pot of gold to be with our friends and to be with our parents. We would be so happy to be with them again. But, tell me kangadrool. Why were you carrying water in your pouch?"

"Ha, it is my job. I help the beleaver with his dam. He has no water. I take the water to him. He needs water to have a dam."

Coral and Emorix were not quite sure they understood. They were about to ask about it when the kangadrool said: "I forgot! I must go! I am late! I must take more water to the beleaver! Good bye! I am glad to have met you. I would like to be your friend. See you later!"

Hop, hop, the kangadrool bounced away.

The children shouted: "Good bye. We too would like to be your friends."

"See you again" smiled the crocrosmile.

"Where are you going?" He smiled to the children.

"We are going to Standor's house - is it far?"

"Nothing is very far when you can smell the flowers along the way. I forgot to ask. Do you know how to smell?" he grinned.

"Yes." Smiled Emorix. “We know how to smell.”

"We crocrosmiles are very good at smelling." He said as he curled his tail above his head and pointed at his nose.

"This long snout is not only good to smile. It can sniff very well. Some of us have noses that are extra long. If we could bend our snout upward and turn our nostrils out and around, we could smell upwind even when we are downwind."

It took the children some time to imagine what the crocrosmile would look like if he tried to do that. The closer they came to forming a picture of a periscopic crocrosmile the more they smiled. They had to stop trying to imagine the picture before they had finished. They were afraid to start laughing uncontrollably again.

"There are two ways to get to Standor's house." Said the crocrosmile. "There is the way that is too quick and there is the very long way. There is also the wrong way, but that does not count."

"Why would anyone go the very long way?" Said Coral.

"There could be lots of reasons." Grinned the crocrosmile.

"I get it.” Said Coral. “We may want to choose the very long way so we can see more pretty things like the Rainbow Falls. So we can smell pretty things like the flowers and meet new friends. Is that why we would choose to go the very long way?"

"Now, now, now." Smiled the crocrosmile. "Tell me. How you could find the way that lets you do all those wonderful things to be very long? Enjoyable things are never long enough. The way of pretty things, new friends, new learning and nice smells is always too short and too quick no matter how much time it takes. It is the way that does not do these things that can be very long. No matter how little time it takes. The way to Standor's house that lets you smell flowers, see pretty things and make new friends is the way that is too quick. Think of times that were nice. Were they long? Time can be measured. But time must also be enjoyed.

Look at my watch. It has a smile string and a frown string. The smile string slows the watch down. The frown string speeds it up."

The children looked at the crocrosmile's watch. It was an hourglass that was strapped to the tip of his tail. The neck of the hourglass was made of rubber. Just like the crocrosmile had said - there were two strings around the neck of the hourglass. There was a gold string that could narrow the hole so that the sand flowed through much slower. There was a red string that pulled the hole wide open so the sand poured through very quickly.

"I pull the gold string when I am happy. The sands of time go slower through the hole. I pull the red string when I am sad. The sands of time go through the hole very fast. The watch is also waterproof."  Grinned the crocrosmile. "I would not want time to stop when I am crying or when it is raining."

"Does it work? Does it really slow down and speed up time?" Said Emorix.

"I don't think it really does. But it is nice to think that it does. Sometimes pulling the red string is enough to make me think that it is time to stop being sad." ..........

Coral had another question to ask. “Tell me.” She said. “How big is the Florest of Ronkledongding?”

“It is just big enough to hold all the wonderful things we need and small enough for us to enjoy them. The florest is just right. It is 78 camel-otters long and just a few more camel-otters wide.”

“What is a camel-otter?” She asked.

Standor smiled as he explained that a camel-otter was the way the Ronkians measured distance. “It is the exact distance a camel travels away from an otter until he stops seeing the otter. The otter is small. It is a bit short in distance. The camel has to travel backward to keep his eyes on the otter. Everybody knows that camels are not very fast when they go backwards. They are actually quite slow.  It takes a long time for a camel to travel a camel-otter, but he does not travel very far. A camel-otter can be measured in time - it is a long time. When it is measured in distance - it is a short distance. In the florest we measure it both way. If we want to get somewhere fast, we use the distance way. If we want to get there slowly, we use the time way.”

Emorix, who was very good at distances in school said: “I never heard of a camel-otter either. It seems to be a strange way to measure things.”

“Yes.” Said Standor. “It is different. But we are not the only ones to use strange ways to measure things. I have heard that there are places where people use the length of a king’s foot or the length of his thumb to measure distance. I have also heard that some people use the behavior of a knot on a rope in water to say how fast they are going. I am even told that there is another place that uses the weight of a container of water to tell how heavy things are. These ways are a bit strange to us.”

“I get your point.” Said Emorix. “The important thing is that people understand each others.”

“I really like the fact that you use the same measure to tell how long it takes to go somewhere and how far it is. I would think that a camel-otter is not very far. When you want to speak of very very long distances, like the distance to our house. Do you use camel-otters or do you have another measure?”

Standor replied: “Yes, for things that are very far away, we use the otter-camel. It is much longer. It is the distance a camel has to travel away from an otter until the otter no longer sees the camel. Because the camel is so much bigger than the otter, the camel has to travel very far before the otter stops seeing it. That distance is very far away. An otter-camel is much longer than a camel-otter. But, this time it is the otter that has to keep watching the camel. The camel can travel forward. We all know that a camel travels forward much faster than he can travel backward. An otter-camel takes less time than a camel-otter. This is good. If we want to go somewhere that is far away but we want to go there fast, we use the time of an otter-camel. If we want to go very far, we use the distance of an otter-camel.

“I like the way you do that.” Said Emorix who was a little sad that Coral had reminded him how far they were from their home and from their parents.

• Nine, count them, nine fewer cadavers than found in Shakespeare's Hamlet.
• Fewer despicable violin playing arsonists than in Gibon's The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire.
• Fewer Calories than consumed in Rombauer's The Joy of Cooking.
• More words than in Keat's On First Looking Into Chapman's Homer.
• More characters than in Hemmingway's The Old Man and the Sea.
• More animals than in Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat.
• Fewer rowboats than in Homer's Odissey.